Leadership Lessons from the Soccer Field: How a Youth Coach Redefined Effort and Ownership

This year my son, Sebastian, moved up to an Elite team at his soccer club, Lonestar. I know that sounds exciting —“Go Sebastian!” — and yes, I’m incredibly proud of him. But any parent involved in elite club soccer knows the full truth: it's a commitment that stretches far beyond the athlete.

To give you a sense of it, the very first tournament of the year was in Houston in mid August, with an 8 a.m. game on Saturday. Anyone who lives in Austin knows that driving to Houston by 7:30 a.m. for warm-ups isn’t realistic. So we pulled Sebastian out of school on Friday, made the drive, and geared up for two 6 a.m. mornings and a full Sunday of waiting around to see if the team qualified for finals. We rolled back into Austin around 8 p.m. Sunday — exhausted, sunburned, and very aware of what “elite” really means.

But alongside the logistics comes something equally valuable: the coaching. I hadn’t met Coach Harrison before — my husband manages most of the soccer logistics — but that weekend, watching four competitive games back-to-back, I realized his messages to the boys were powerful far beyond the field. Simple, direct, and delivered in moments of pressure, they translated surprisingly well into the workplace.

Most of my Leadership Lessons from Normal Life posts are meant to be uplifting and directional. But this year, in conversations across my network, I’ve heard a different theme: people feeling overworked as companies experiment with AI efficiencies, people in roles they’ve outgrown but can’t leave in a tough market, and people simply feeling frustrated enough that it shows up in their work — and in their well-being.

This article is for them.

These lessons from Coach Harrison aren’t motivational slogans. They’re pragmatic tools for navigating a tough season at work without burning yourself out.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Lesson #1: “The ref made the wrong call, but it’s ok. You did great.”

Early in the first game, our center back Colton made a clean, decisive defensive play — clear as day from the sidelines. The whistle blew anyway. Yellow card. Wrong call.

Coach Harrison didn’t argue. He turned to Colton and said, “The ref made the wrong call, but it’s ok. You did great.”

At work, this happens more than we admit. You deliver results, operate with integrity, learn from mistakes — and still something goes unrecognized or misunderstood. Sometimes you even get the workplace version of a “yellow card.”

It doesn’t automatically mean you’re not doing well. Your job in those moments is to step back, look honestly at what you can learn, adjust where needed, and keep going.

External validation is great, but self-awareness is more reliable.

Sometimes the only person who can confidently say “You did great” is you.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Lesson #2: “If you’re tired, tell me and take a break. Otherwise, run somewhere!”

By mid-morning in Houston, the heat was creeping toward unbearable. Juan, the left winger, began walking during a transition when the ball moved upfield. A quick turnover later, the other team scored.

Coach Harrison yelled, “If you’re tired, tell me and take a break! Otherwise, just run somewhere! Don’t stop running!”

At work, fatigue shows up the same way — slowing decision-making, shortening patience, narrowing perspective. But unlike kids, adults push through exhaustion without saying a word. That’s when mistakes happen or relationships strain.

If you’re worn out, take a break. A real one. A half-day, a day, or even an hour. Taking a break isn’t weakness — it’s strategy. 

And if you’re choosing to show up, show up fully. Energy and consistency matter.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Lesson #3: “William, do your job.”

In the second game, confidence was high. The whistle blows. Another questionable call by the ref. William, in protest of the foul, stands next to the ball with his arms crossed to waste time. 

Coach Harrison cut through the noise: “William!! DO YOUR JOB!!!” 

Workplaces have versions of this every day. An unfair decision. A frustrating request. A direction you disagree with. Sometimes those things deserve discussion. But often, we spend energy debating what we can’t change instead of focusing on solutions that move things forward. 

Here’s the key: when you get stuck in negativity, it spreads — slowly, quietly, and often without you noticing. Work culture is just everyone’s collective energy and attitude. If you’re constantly arguing, complaining, staying stuck on the problem vs the solution, or resisting positive progress, you’re shaping that culture — and it only drags everyone down. 

When the call is unfair (or just one you do not like) and options are limited, re-centering on your job — your deliverables, your team, your craft — keeps your energy where it matters, maintains productivity and prevents toxicity.

____________________________________________________________________________

Lesson #4: “You don’t want it enough.”

By the final game of the weekend, the boys were exhausted. It was a 2 p.m. kickoff and the temperature was a blazing 107°F / 42 C. Their legs were heavy as they struggled to score. By halftime with 1-2 on the scoreboard, they looked defeated. The heat, the long weekend, the scoreboard — it all added up to a sense that the game was already over.

But when they came back onto the field after the halftime break, something had shifted. They were running hard again. Communicating. Taking risks. Moving with a sense of urgency. Even as the temperature climbed, their energy climbed with it. And unbelievably, they dominated the second half and won the game 3-2. 

I asked Sebastian what changed after halftime. He said, “Coach told us, ‘You’re losing because they want it more. You don’t want it bad enough. If you did, you’d go get it.’”

It wasn’t criticism — it was clarity.

At work, we all hit periods where progress slows and motivation dips. We - and sometimes our companies - can face long stretches of fatigue, discouragement, or stalled progress. A tough project, a role that doesn’t feel like the right fit, a team dynamic that drains you, or just consistent poor business results are all draining. In those moments, the difference between staying stuck and regaining momentum often comes down to one honest question:

Do I still want this?

If yes, that clarity sparks renewed effort. If no, that clarity signals a needed shift.

Disengagement without awareness creates burnout and spreads frustration.

Awareness gives you the clarity to act — or to pivot. It will take everyone “wanting it enough” for any business to be successful. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

Lesson #5: “You’re at a tryout. If you want to make the team, run!”

A few days after the Houston tournament, word got around that Sebastian’s team had won — and that they were playing at a higher level now. Naturally, other kids were interested in joining. So at the next practice, Coach Harrison held a tryout and invited a handful of boys to train with the team so he could observe them.

It took him about five minutes to notice one boy jogging casually up and down the field, barely moving to challenge for the ball. Coach Harrison immediately yelled, “You’re at a tryout. If you want to make the team, RUN!”

The boy shrugged and said, “I don’t like to run.”

Coach didn’t miss a beat: “Then find another sport.”

The comment wasn’t harsh. It was honest. Soccer requires running. If you don’t want to run, you’re not choosing the sport — you’re choosing frustration.

Work is no different. If you want to be on the “team” — in whatever form that means in your company—you have to engage in the fundamentals that the role requires. Not perfectly, not effortlessly, but willingly.

And if you find yourself consistently resisting the core parts of your job — not because you’re tired, or overwhelmed, or in a rough season, but because you simply don’t want to do the work the job requires — that’s useful information. Not failure. Not judgment. Just data.

It might mean the role is no longer aligned with your strengths. Or that your interests have shifted. Or that what once fit no longer fits. In that case, the most productive step isn’t to force yourself to “run,” but to consider where you do want to run — and what role, environment, or team would better support that.

The lesson isn’t “work harder.” The lesson is to know what game you’re playing — and whether you want to play it. To keep playing and to win, you’ll need to be flexible and open to ideas that aren’t your own.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Conclusion: Focus on What You Can Control

What struck me most about Coach Harrison’s messages is how practical they were. No big speeches. Just guidance delivered in moments that mattered. And as adults navigating work, careers, and uncertainty, we often need the same kind of grounding.

Let Coach Harrison's words be a reminder….

That sometimes you do everything right and still get a yellow card—and you can still keep going. That rest prevents regret. That debating every unfair moment drains momentum. That clarity about what you want can reignite effort. That if you’re resisting the fundamentals of a role, it may be time to choose a different field.

None of these lessons are about perfection. They’re about alignment, awareness, and agency.

Work can be challenging right now. Expectations are shifting, markets are slower, and many people feel stuck or discouraged. These conditions are real.

But even in tough seasons, you still have levers you can pull: how you respond, how you rest, what you focus on, and what you choose next.

You don’t control the ref. You do control your effort, your attitude, and whether you’re in the right game.

And sometimes the most powerful leadership lesson is this:

You have more agency than you think. Use it well.

You Got This!

Jess 

P.S. The Coach’s and kids' names have been changed to protect their identity. Sebastian has read and confirmed the facts.